From the Trees
Grow
straight and tall
Reach
toward the giver of light
Stretch
wide your arms to receive all that is poured out to you
Embrace
those growing beside you
Breathe
the free air once again
Author: leanewinger
Grow
straight and tall
Reach
toward the giver of light
Stretch
wide your arms to receive all that is poured out to you
Embrace
those growing beside you
Breathe
the free air once again
The seed for “While it was Still Dark” was planted several years ago when I heard an Easter sermon on the resurrection passage in John 20:
Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb.
The speaker, Chris Yue, drew my attention to the phrase, “while it was still dark”. Two thoughts stayed with me from that sermon—first, that the resurrection happened while it was still dark. The greatest miracle of all history had happened, and no one knew about it yet. As far as anyone knew, nothing had changed … but everything had changed. I found that to be such an encouraging thought, that even though it may look like things are hopeless, that nothing has changed, it may be possible that God has already done amazing things and we just don’t know about them yet.
The second thought that stayed with me was the faithfulness of Mary Magdalene. Even though it was still dark, even though she had no reason to hope or even dream of what was coming, she still went to the tomb. She didn’t know that a miracle had happened, she was just doing her part to be faithful to the Teacher that she loved. And for us today, that is all that is asked of us—that we continue to be faithful, even when we don’t see the miracles or know what God is doing. We can be faithful, even when it is still dark.
She knew what hopelessness was like
But this time somehow it was worse
For she knew love and hope and peace
Then watched as senseless violence burned
Her hope and future into ash
The one she loved, teacher and friend
Tortured and murdered ruthlessly
The eyes that saw her see no more
The hands that touched and healed the sick
Now bloodied, mutilated, dead
Despair and fear now fill her heart
As friends disperse, flee for their lives
And yet she cannot stay away
Her heart still yearns for what is lost
She slips away, out of the city
While it was still dark.
With heavy heart she seeks the tomb
No hopes or plans in mind except
To be close to the one she loved
To care for him one final time
She weeps and walks her lonely road
Believing that this is the end
But soon she’ll find the tomb unbarred
Her fear and sorrow overwhelmed
Engulfed by wonder beyond hope
Before her eyes he stands alive—
But she is still upon the road
In grief and darkness and despair
Continues faithful step by step
To where her heart at last will know
The miracle already happened
While it was still dark.
Jesus knew his disciples. He knew their weaknesses, their fears, their motivations. He knew that Judas was going to betray him and that Peter was going to deny him.
He washed their feet anyways.
Join us for Journey to Easter: a time of prayer and reflection, an Easter devotional and prayer walk that leads our hearts through the dramatic and impactful events leading up to Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection on Easter morning. A 20-page devotional guides us through insights, Bible verses, and questions that coincide with a beautiful walk with rest stops and symbols to engage our hearts and minds.
Anyone in Southern Ontario is welcome to come and experience the prayer walk for themselves (contact me for more information if you are interested!), but for those who are unable to join us in person, the booklet is available for anyone to use. The format is similar to the Christmas Prayer Walk I wrote last year, but this time the four stages follow the Easter story: The Supper, The Garden, The Cross, and The Tomb. If you would like to create an Easter Walk for yourself, or to simply read through the booklet as a personal devotional for this Easter season, the booklet is available! Simply follow the download link below.
I hope that this prayer walk can give us an opportunity to slow down, meet with God, and reflect on the heartbreaking and glorious story that we celebrate at Easter.
Want to experience the Journey to Easter for yourself? Download the booklet today!
O Mountain, where have you gone?
Bulwark of strength
Unmovable
Beautiful, you pierced the sky,
Defined the horizon
Faithful guide
A solace once, for restless hearts
Place of belonging
Crumbled, gone
Compass points spin, undefined
Fearful absence dominates
A new horizon
But there is one unchangeable
A refuge still remaining
In the chaos
O Mountain, know I will not fear
Though all else may fall
Still He is here
do ashes feel the cold
do they know
that life once flowed hot
through their veins
why should absence hurt so much
does the wind just blow
or is a heart behind it
and does it make a difference
to these tears
loving never really stops
do these words spoken here
somehow mean more
than words we’ve spoken
somewhere else
walls of stone cannot contain you
freer than you’ve ever been
does there come a day
the flowers fade
and no one visits
anymore
maybe I will have a little girl someday
is it strange that I still see
God’s loving hand
beyond the ache and tears
a gift
This month marked the one year anniversary of my mom’s death from cancer. It has been a bittersweet time, thinking about her, celebrating my birthday, and finding ways to reconcile the reality that those two days are the same.
I wanted to take this opportunity to share a song that I wrote last summer for the 6 month anniversary of the hardest birthday I’ve ever had.
Standing there beside the hospital bed
Didn’t know when it would be the end
Till suddenly it’s now.
“Love you Mom”, you write it on the wall
Why’d it have to be this day at all?
I’m so sorry.
You are too young
She was too young
Can goodbyes be too short but so long?
Hold me close
You don’t have to wipe away your tears.
It’s your birthday
I hope you know how much you’re loved.
It’s your birthday
I pray God’s blessings from above.
I know it’s hard, the grief is near,
Balloons and candles disappear,
But may you feel God’s love today.
It may not be happy,
But it’s your birthday.
She is gone
Life carries on
Can goodbyes be too short but so long?
Hold me close
You don’t have to wipe away your tears.
It’s your birthday
I hope you know how much you’re loved.
It’s your birthday
I pray God’s blessings from above.
I know it’s hard, the grief is near,
Balloons and candles disappear,
But may you feel God’s love today.
It may not be happy,
But it’s your birthday
I hope you know how much you’re loved.
It’s your birthday
I pray God’s blessings from above.
The hurt is deep, you feel so lost,
Just know that I have not forgot,
And may you feel God’s love today.
It may not be happy,
But it’s your birthday.
January was a great month for writing. I dedicated a lot of time to working on my first novel, The Door, and I’m thrilled to say that I was able to write over 20,000 words over the course of the month, and now I have finished my first draft!
The next step is to send it out to my test readers (including my lovely Patrons, for those who are interested), and then I’ll be getting down to the hard work of making the story the best that it can be!
The Door is an exciting story of adventure, danger, and mystery. I am really proud of it so far, and I’m looking forward to making it even better.
When Alex and his mountaineering friends discover a mysterious door underneath a glacier, they are determined to unlock its secrets, but when his friends do not return, Alex is forced to embark on a dangerous rescue mission to try to bring them home.
As the new year began, I realized that I needed to make some changes. In my desire to build my work as a writer, I had started raising support through Patreon, built this website, and tried to upkeep my personal blog, while still trying to actually write and advance the different projects I had in the works. It was too much. With this in mind, I decided to close my account with Patreon and instead accept monthly support through my website. Now when you visit the support section on my website, donations can be made on a one time or monthly basis.
As a way of thanking those who support me, I am writing a monthly Patron Letter which I email to everyone who supported me that month. My Patron Letter shares about the writing that I did that month, and includes points of interest that don’t make it here onto my blog, like insights into my writing process or the inspiration behind a certain work.
If you enjoy my writing or would like to empower me to spend more time writing, I invite you to check it out. My supporters are such a blessing and encouragement to me!
I want to see you cry
see the tears in your eyes
and know that she mattered
to you
Feel the throb well up
in my own heart
because I loved her
too
I want to know
I’m not alone
in this darkness they call
grief
This pain dammed up
inside of me
your tears give me
relief
I want to see you cry
see the tears in your eyes
and feel that it is
true
That when you trust me
with your tears
my tears become safe
too